8 months

8 months today. I had a hard morning at church and then I realized that it was 8 months ago. I still don't know why some days are harder than others and why some days it seems easy. I also don't know why sometimes I don't want it to be easy. I'd like to just lay in my bed and cry.

I heard from another woman who lost her husband at a really young age that the second year is harder. You make it through the first year knowing that it's going to be rough and then you think it'll be better and it's not. I believe this to be true because I thought it was better at 7 months and now it's awful again at 8.

Lots of things are changing at my house. I've cleaned up some things and put some things in boxes. I'm changing a job. My boys will be going to different school buildings. I hope to get a new normal established.

It's weird to not go and set up his classroom this week to be ready for orientation. I always hung the huge ruler on the wall, the alphabet of math terms above the bulletin board and his Green Bay Packer curtains on the closet doorways. I put up some cute saying outside of his door. I set out pictures of me and the boys. I feel like I added the personality to his classroom.

His grade level team has changed a lot this year with Steve dying and another teacher retiring. I hope this September they can start to find their new normal.