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Thursday, February 18, 2021

Single Parenting

Dealing with the loss and the grief was one thing and I believe I found my way through it and I'm able to cope with those feelings as they still come up now. The biggest struggle is being a single parent. Not having somebody to toss ideas around with or having somebody to have your back when you try to do something hard. I know I have support from family and friends but it's different having another parent.

I have been trying to get my youngest to be awake and do school work during the day. I struggled to get him out of bed this morning and when I came downstairs in tears, my middle one said to me, "It's not your fault. No one expects us to be okay. It's only been 3 years."

He's right. We all grieve differently and in a different time frame. But I do feel that society thinks we should be okay and we should be able to do the daily routine things like school and work. Being in a global pandemic also doesn't help with keeping routines and receiving support.

I trust that God put me here in this time frame to be the best mom I can be and I'm working on that. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

a note from a reader

With the money I make from the sales of paperbacks and e-books I've been donating books to others that are grieving,  especially widows. I received a note from someone who had read my book. Her husband passed away 2 months ago. They also had three boys. However he was in his 80s and they had been married for 57 years.

Here is part of what her note said: "Thank you for sharing your poignant book on grieving with me. I found it quite therapeutic. I started journaling as well, but it tended to be more mundane things like daily activities and meal prep. After reading your entries, I have moved on to (joyless) grieving notations. Your Bible references were also a great comfort for me. As other widows have told me "things don't get better they just get different". It sounds as if you and your sons are gradually moving on. Keep putting one foot ahead of the other. I'll keep you all in my prayers."

When she brought me this note, she asked me how I was doing and when I told her that I was doing really well, she told me that that gave her hope. I pray that I am able to help others by sharing my story.

There are still hard times and there always will be but I also have found it to be therapeutic to focus on the joy each day. I thank God every morning for giving me the life he has and pray that he continues to bless me on this journey.