Tuesday, December 19th, I am at work and head into a meeting. I have kept my phone with me most of the day in case I was needed at home but did not receive a call or text. I had emailed Steve to remind him it was his dad's birthday. A few minutes into the meeting, the secretary knocks on the door and tells me that I am going to need come out of the office and then head home. I am so confused and then I see my priest there and a woman I know. Father says to me that I need to go with him. I am angry and confused and keep trying to get him to tell me why and what is going on. I know in my heart that something bad has happened. He didn't really know the whole situation either but someone needed to get me. He says he will drive my car.
I ran upstairs and got my coat and purse and told someone in my classroom that I needed to go, that Steve was at the hospital and I left. I then asked about my boys. Sarah, the woman with Father, said she had already gotten my youngest, would head to the high school to get the other two and would bring them to the hospital. When I got the hospital my parent's car was there and a lot of people were in in the waiting room: my in-laws, my sister-in-law, my parents, and my youngest. Everyone was in tears.
I was taken into a room by the nurse and told that they had tried everything but he had stopped breathing and they could not resuscitate him. I could not believe what I was hearing; he was fine when I left in the morning.
I was taken into the room to see him. I cried on his chest for quite a while and held his hand. I said goodbye to the love of my life and the dad of my boys. My oldest did come in at some point. My other boys did not want to and I was okay with that. His mom and dad were there and his mom kept saying that it wasn't supposed to be this way; that she was supposed to go first. I was in shock. I couldn't believe it was true.
Once I was back in the waiting room, I realized that the funeral home needed to be called. I am not sure if I called or who did it, but that started everything that would take place over the next few days.
I was talked to by the medical examiner about how the autopsy and death certificate would work and signed some papers.
The funeral home director called that evening to keep us up to date on what was happening and to discuss when we would like to try to hold the funeral with the Christmas Holiday only a few days away. We decided that before Christmas would be the best.
Many people were called and a lot of them came to my house with food and paper products. Everyone was in shock and disbelief. He had been to work on Friday and church on Sunday. He was 42 years old.
My sisters headed for home from Chicago and Florida with their spouses. A new chapter in my life has begun.
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