Love, Friends and Family

We get an enormous amount of love from friends and family. People are dropping off food, drinks, and more paper products. Some of the best things we got were paper plates, kleenex boxes, fresh fruit, pasta sauce in small containers, postage stamps and gift certificates for local restaurants. We laughed at the amount of chicken, grapes, and pears we received.

We started a notebook to record who brought what so we could write thank you notes later.  Another notebook was started with who we had talked to and with phone numbers for people like the funeral home director and things that would have to happen. Random things would pop into my head, like who would change the bell schedule at church and that I had a commision at a thrift store to pick up.

My sister and sister-in-law started a spreadsheet to record who brought food and/or made donations.  We have a basket where all the cards are collected. We start another basket of paperwork related to the funeral.

I feel overwhelmed by the love and support.  My sisters are staying with me.  My mom stays over many nights. My youngest is sleeping with me every night. We are on Christmas break and so everyone is around. My oldest's girlfriend is often over and many times he goes to her house.

The agent from my insurance company called and offered his sympathy and told me he had started the process there for life insurance etc and that they would call when I needed to do anything.

I am in constant communication with the funeral home and we have a meeting to decided on a casket and cemetery. I mention that spring burial will not be Memorial Day weekend as my son is graduating.  We bring clothes to the funeral home...and then again as the shirt needed long sleeves and we had sent a short sleeve polo.

We have a meeting with the church to decide on readings, songs, altar servers, and pallbearers. My oldest picked one of the readings. Steve's family helped make choices. I had people come with me to all the meetings because I felt like my brain was mushy and wasn't sure I could make decisions.

During these first few days, I am almost constantly in tears. I am lonely even though my house is full. I am tired and am able to sleep.  I am continuing with my Bible study, prayers and gratitude journal.  I start a new notebook with things related to Steve. I am still numb and in disbelief. I am praying as to answers of why this had to happen.  I knew it was part of God's plan even though I was upset.